Foundational Attitudes of Mindfulness Letting Go (7 of 9)

Why is letting go one of the foundational attitudes of mindfulness? What does letting go mean and why it is important? With a video of Kabat-Zinn talking about the attitude of mindfulness letting go.

In the previous videos, Jon Kabat-Zinn introduced us to the first five attitudes of mindfulness: non-judging, patience, beginner’s mind, trust, non-striving and acceptance.  In this video, Jon Kabat-Zinn talks about the seventh attitude of mindfulness, that of letting go.

As you start to practice mindfulness, you will incrementally begin to notice how the mind has an innate tendency to grasp onto things.  This could be latching onto something that is pleasant, wanting to make it last or to relive it.  On the opposite side, we might start to notice an even stronger tendency within the mind to try to get rid of or predict certain experiences in a desperate attempt to prevent them because, in one way or another, we consider them “unpleasant.”  This is usually driven by some form of preference (Choden & Regan-Addis, 2018).

Because of this, Jon Kabat-Zinn (2013) tells us that,

“Cultivating the attitude of letting go, or non-attachment, is fundamental to the practice of mindfulness.” (p. 39)

The attitude of letting go in mindfulness invites a shift in perspective in how we relate to experiences by relinquishing attachments to pre-conceived expected outcomes, judgements, and the urge to control situations to achieve a particular outcome.  

It is also closely linked to the attitude of acceptance because it also involves observing thoughts and emotions without becoming entangled in them by stepping back and taking a de-centering stance that allows for a more objective understanding of present experience.  Therefore, like acceptance, letting go in mindfulness does not mean passive indifference; rather, it is an objective acknowledgement of the inherent unpredictability and impermanence of life’s situations and an intentional release of the baggage of past uncertainties and future anxieties.

Kabat-Zinn (2013) points out that we practice this during mindfulness by intentionally letting go of grasping or pushing away curious to see what happens arguing, 

“When we find ourselves judging our experience, we let go of those judging thoughts.  We recognise them, and we just don’t pursue them any further.  We let them be, and in doing so, we let them go.  Similarly, when thoughts of the past or of the future come up, we let go of them.  We just watch.” (ibid. p. 40)  

So simply put, the attitude of letting go or non-attachment, as Kabat-Zinn says in the video,

“Really means letting be.  It means allowing things to be as they are and not be too.  Caught up in having to have them be a certain way when the evidence is they already are not that way.”

This always reminds me of the song by The Beatles (1970), Let It Be, especially the lyrics,

When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me

Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Therefore, we could argue that the attitude of letting go, when cultivated appropriately, can be a very supportive skill in identifying ruminative thoughts in the moment and re-directing attention, which can help avoid getting stuck in a downward spiral of ruminative thinking.

However, beyond words, is cultivating the attitude of letting go in the context of mindfulness helpful?  Research indicates so.

For example, in a preliminary study on mindfulness and letting go, Frewen et al. (2008) found that highly mindful individuals still continue to experience a significant level of negative thoughts.  However, their findings indicated that compared to individuals low in dispositional mindfulness, those who scored high in dispositional mindfulness related differently to these thoughts.  The determining factor was letting go, where those individuals who scored high on dispositional mindfulness reported a greater ability to let go of negative thoughts (Frewen et al., 2008).    

Further, although letting go and mindfulness are two distinct constructs, Whitehead et al. (2020) found a connection between them.  Specifically, letting go appears to mediate the development of mindfulness, with improved mindfulness promoting letting go.  This aligns with Jon Kabat-Zinn’s suggestion that letting go is a fundamental attitude necessary for developing mindfulness.  More notably, Whitehead et al. (2020) observed that letting go was one of the factors within mindfulness that facilitated the growth of the “advanced psychological domains” of wisdom, self-actualisation, and self-transcendence.

In another study that distinguished between letting go and mindfulness as separate constructs, Elphinstone et al. (2021) found how “letting go” served as a factor within mindfulness that increased participant’s sense of autonomy, competence, and a subjective sense of improvement in interpersonal relationships.

However, because, in our evolutionary past, predicting the worst—like assuming that the shadow in the bushes is definitely a sabre-toothed tiger—might have been the difference between being eaten alive or surviving another day.  Because of this, letting go is easier said than done as our minds have developed in a way that it holds on, much like Velcro to negative experiences and Teflon to positive ones (Hanson & Mendius, 2009). 

Ask yourself this question: If throughout your day you experience ten positive situations, but then you go shopping at the supermarket, and at the checkout point, the moment you lift the bag with your groceries, the bottom breaks, sending everything with a loud bang to the floor making a mess.  At the end of the day, which experience lingers in your mind?  The ten positive ones or the negative one?

Kabat-Zinn (2013) provides an example illustrating how hunters in India catch monkeys, using a coconut as an analogy. On one side of the coconut, they drill a hole just big enough for a monkey's hand to pass through while securing the other side to a tree and placing a banana inside. When a monkey notices this, it puts its hand inside the coconut to take the banana but cannot withdraw its hand, as the hole in the coconut is not big enough for a fist to pass through. Jon Kabat-Zinn (2013) comments,

“All the monkey has to do to be free is to let go of the banana. But it seems that most monkeys don't let go.” (p. 39)

This example can relate to situations in our lives where we are unable to let go of our grasp on past situations, strong harmful emotions, preconceived expectations, etc.  At times, letting go of these can be quite difficult and may seem foreign and impossible.

However, no matter how difficult and foreign letting go might seem to us, it is an integral part of our lives.  In mindfulness practice, we catch a glimpse of letting go through the vehicle of the breath, where letting go is an integral part of the process of breathing. If you breathe in and hold it, ultimately, you will have to let go of the in-breath to make space for the out-breath, no matter how hard you try to hold the in-breath in.   

Kabat-Zinn (2013) uses the example of sleep to illustrate this commenting,

“Letting go is not such a foreign experience. We · do it every night when we go to sleep. We lie down on a padded surface, with the lights out, in a quiet place, and we let go of our mind and body.  If you can't let go, you can't go to sleep.” (p. 40)

This concept is also reflected in our lives, particularly in situations where we keep striving for a particular outcome, and it seems that no matter how hard we try, things refuse to budge. However, the moment we let go of our expectations, sometimes because we become exhausted, it is as if a new light shines on the situation. We start seeing things as they are, not as they "should be," and then it seems things start to change. By letting go of our expectations, we become able to see and open up to other outcomes and solutions for how a situation might resolve itself.  This is in relationship to an understanding of one of the “functions” of mindfulness, that of bringing about clear seeing/knowing (Analayo, 2020).  Analayo (2020) also points out that clear seeing/knowing and mindfulness arise together and are integral components of formal mindfulness meditation practice.  

Ultimately, as Jon Kabat-Zinn says in the video,

Letting things be as they are means allowing the recognition that when you are caught.  By your own desire, by your own attachment to things being a certain way, that that's painful, but that the letting go.  Is actually the doorway to freedom.  And it is something that you don't do once; it's something that you practice over and over again, moment by moment, by moment, every time. Every time you catch yourself clinging to something, you remind yourself it's possible to just let it be and just let it go.

Video produced by Mindfulnessgruppen, reproduced with permission.  Please visit their website @ www.mindfulnessgruppen.se and www.mindsunlimited.se to learn more about mindfulness and MBSR.

P.S. The upcoming post will introduce the eighth and ninth attitudes of mindfulness, “gratitude and generosity.”

Thank you for reading Now About Meditation.  If you enjoyed this — please forward it to a friend (or two, or three) or share it on social media 😊.

References

Analayo, B. (2020). Clear knowing and mindfulness. Mindfulness, 11, 862-871. doi:https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-019-01283-8

The Beatles (1970, May 8). Let It Be. Retrieved from Genius: https://genius.com/The-beatles-let-it-be-lyrics

Choden, & Regan-Addis, H. (2018). Mindfulness-based living course. New Alresford: John Hunt Publishing.

Elphinstone, B., Egan, P., & Whitehead, R. (2021). Greater autonomous motivation for study and basic psychological need satisfaction by being presently aware and ‘letting go’: An exploration of mindful attention and nonattachment. Motivation and Emotion, 45, 1-12. doi:https://doi.org/10.1007/s11031-020-09836-4

Frewen, P. A., Evans, E. M., Maraj, N., Dozois, D. J., & Partridge, K. (2008). Letting go: Mindfulness and negative automatic thinking. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 32, 758-774. doi: https://doi.org/10.1007/s10608-007-9142-1

Hanson, R., & Mendius, R. (2009). Buddha's brain: The practical neuroscience of happiness, love, and wisdom. Oakland, CA: ‎New Harbinger Publications.

Kabat-Zinn, J. (2013). Full catastrophe living: How to cope with stress, pain and illness using mindfulness meditation (Revised and updated ed.). New York, NY: Random House USA Inc.

Whitehead, R., Bates, G., & Elphnstone, B. (2020). Growing by letting go: Nonattachment and mindfulness as qualities of advanced psychological development. Journal of Adult Development, 23, 12-22. doi:https://doi.org/10.1007/s10804-018-09326-5